She was a beautiful bride - and yes, I actually have seen unattractive brides. I leave it to you to decide. She sent this photo a day after the wedding.Montana really IS Big Sky country.
The wedding was situated in the Lewis and Clark Park of Montana. The ceremony itself was a hike up to an small, intimate amphitheater. She wanted no adornment in the setting. No flowers, no nothing beyond the carpet runner she agreed to to protect that dress, & only then because she already owned it.
The wedding was very secular. Unexpected with each was Catholic, and one had gone to parochial school until college. Indeed, the ceremony was conducted by "Maria," a friend.It started out with thanks to the people who had care-taken the park. I wondered if I was in a new age wedding. Maria had interviewed each and shared her observations. It was news to us that the groom felt the bride should consider politics. She's a PhD in microbiology. Politics? Please God, haven't we had enough of Fauci?
Then the couple shared the vows they wrote, and as expected, personal and touching.
In light of the non-traditional ceremony, it was surprising, then, that other traditional elements were honored. The white wedding dress. The wedding cake, and the couple feeding each other a bite. That each consented to have their parents escort them down the aisle. The first dance as a married couple. But no honeymoon, and you would have to know that this next bit is SO TYPICAL of my kid.
This was a wedding in which attendees were encouraged (and did) camp and go mountain biking. I know my daughter and thought it was a BIG MISTAKE for her to bike the day of her wedding. But no, she hasn't listened to me since 1986. As we were putting on her dress hours later, I noticed a BIG bandage on her knee. She dismissed it, clearly not wanting her mother to fuss. The next day, I saw the wound. It was a 5" gash that should have been stitched. Mind you, I know this kid. In her life, she has..
Had two broken arms, a broken collarbone, 4 total ACL replacements, several concussions, numerous broken toes, a broken wrist resulting in fusion, and who knows what else she never told me about. Well, I guess it's her husband's task to deal with all this now.
Regrets? I have plenty. I had hoped she would rescue and fall in love with an orthopedic surgeon during her time as ski patrol at Vail. But no. She has married a liberal with a big heart helping the homeless with housing.
When I'm happy, I'm in a good weight - which is to say trim. I've been generally stressed since 2020, and have been especially unhappy since my daughter announced the Covid protocol for her wedding. Pictures of myself make me wince.
The wedding was also difficult on my marriage. Our daughter's attitude so angered my husband that he lacked any ounce of tenderness as we left for the trip. I needed him to show a father's love going in, and while he did give her a long, sweet hug before we...
walked down the aisle, by then, my own heart was hardened. We can forgive our spouses many things, but disappointment, and particularly when it involves our child, is hard to forgive. I see that I'm being especially candid here, but you all have suffered along with me about this wedding, so there it is. We are due a serious conversation. It would not be the first marriage with such a challenge, but we've been married 45 years....
So there we are. I prayed to God to bless her marriage...
And I hope God does. I also gave her the "Mom Speech" before the wedding: "You are loved. You always have a home. If things don't work out, try hard, but know we have your back."
I got the "Oh mom," roll of the eyes.
I said what I had to say. There is so much more to say. She's not ready to hear it because she thinks I'm wrong to be MAGA, and that we've rejected HER because we reject her views on the vax and Covid. I guess that brings me up to date. Oh - there is this next part.....
My son will be proposing to his young lady next month. I'm in charge of the engagement party. He is a libertarian, but his lady is a nurse - fully vaxed and all-in about Covid and the vax.
Please in my next life, could I have less drama with my children?
Ok, I'm done. After reliving this, I'm ready for that vodka tonic.
@1031 It seems to me that your husband was more gracious about it than I would have been. I would notnhave gone.
Not going probably would have suited him. I suspect he would have regretted it later
Thanks for sharing this wonderful but kind of sad thread.
I fully understand what you are going through as both of my kids are woke beyond measure.
I had dinner with my daughter last night and in the course of her sharing a story about a friend's boyfriend she stated "he believes in a flat earth and that there is no such thing as climate change. Obviously he doesn't know science."
I just sat silent thinking that neither does she in regard to climate change
But she will find out soon
My enduring prayer is that eventually, we will all be vindicated. With our friends, with our family.
My daughter needs to know that we believe IN HER, we just don't believe the information her world had fed her.
She will come around.
It may be painful for her (and my kids), but she will see the truth eventually.
From your lips to God's ears. With all my heart.
@1031
It looks to have been a beautiful location for a wedding. That picture is simply stunning!
@1031
Yay, no cat fights or major family drama.
Now you can relax...this has been stressing out for the last few months.
Cut your husband some slack. Most Conservative alpha dads would have had zero tolerance for her disrespectful behavior. Good parents deserve respect and both of you sound like wonderful people.
Now celebrate!
@CONSERVATARIAN @Lori @GeorgiaPeach2009 @TXPatriot2021 @Andre @SweetIceTea
Awwww, thank you for that.
I stress here - STRESS - that I truly believe your prayers made a difference. Thank you all for this.
@1031 Beautiful. I share your wish to have less drama with grown children.
God bless them with health, love, and many hears of happiness. All will reveal itself in due time.
Thanks for sharing… You survived - so make thata double!
What a beautiful retelling of "the event". The picture of them is gorgeous. And that dress... Ooh, lah, lah. Glad to hear there was no "high drama in the mountains". I can assume you took Dr Laura's advice. Try not to be too angry with your husband. It may be the best he could do under the circumstances.
I'll take the advice "under advisement." It hurt me more than angered me....
Those are the hardest to forgive.
Disappointment IS hard to overcome....I always tthought that what I would never forgive is a breach of trust, and I wonder if that isn't what I'm fearing.
Could be. Whatever you name it, still hurts the same.
Deep.
I'll share the prayer with my daughter's father when I'm drunk, on my death bed, or he has sufficiently convinced me that he is aware of his humongous error & spends eternity making it up to me. I can't get back my daughter's wedding. There is no do-over. He had one chance to make it not about himself, but about the daughter we share. I was pissed at her too, & probably had more right to be since I was the particular object of her Covid stance. If I could do it..
Well now I'm REALLY worried. My daughter chose to have a secular wedding. My husband is agnostic. Looks like I'm on my own with taking to heart Romans 8:28, and I will truly pray on it.
I know that heartache isn't healthy.
"Others are his project."
That actually makes sense to me. But I still want to throttle the man. Just saying.
That is a natural reaction and completely understandable.
But 1 Cor 13:4-5 tells us how to deal with it:
"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
Again, I was brought through very fiery trials to make me take this to heart.
Be at peace.
I'm still on a biblical journey and haven't gotten to Corinthians, but the passage is famous - and so deep that it alone will take some studying. Thank you for sharing it
That's a gorgeous wedding portrait! Wow.
Here's wishing them a long, happy, fruitful marriage.
Kudos to you for coming through it with grace. Prayers that whatever needs healing between you and your husband will resolve in a way that leads to a deeper love and understanding between you.
Thank you. My FA pals prayed me into my daughter's wedding, I truly believe this. If they could do that, then I believe prayers will provide me a path to get past the heavy heart I have over my husband's own hardened heart.
Could they also make me look thinner in the pictures taken at the wedding?
Does he make astral travel housecalls?
You are a gift to your family.
Oh golly, what a lovely thing to say but I'm not sure they all see it that way
That’s not a precondition. You are what you are regardless.
@nchia @1031
Hi 1031, touching thread, if I might add, I wish my sons, and daughters husbands, all read Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi, or similar, to understand the harsh life forces at play when it comes to couples life.
Preferably before getting married, but great at all times in life.
The "manosphere" might not be perfect, but it has great voices such as Rian Stone and Rollo Tomassi.
All the best to your family!
/mukona
@1031
Your husband is not at fault. "Do not be afraid of division." Jesus *requires* this of us. Please listen to this brief sermon to refresh your memory of the mission of Jesus...
@1031 Glad you're back, that there were no major upheavels & that the stressful anticipation is behind you. Your daughter's wedding photo is gorgeous! Sorry for angst with your DH. It takes time but I'd bet he will calm now that the wedding is over. Wish we could help choose the DILs & SILs for our kids but we can't. The stories I could tell I will continue daily prayers for you & your family that the libs in your family will wake up & your family become harmonius & kids appreciate you!
Thank you so very much for your kind words, and for the prayers that I know in my heart worked. I will gratefully accept more prayers, and I marvel that you ever get off your knees, there are so many of us that need them.
@1031 My pleasure! Indeed, the list is long! I never give in and never will give up!
Your honesty is so trusting and vulnerable. I thank you for sharing.
I completely understand how you felt with every moment.
I've complained about my own woke daughter and I know where you're coming from.
Yes, it is hurtful that she bought a home nearer to the new in-laws. I'm not going to try to make a silver lining out of that one.
My prayer is that you and your hubby grow closer through this emotionally charged time. Her diss was to you both.
Kids leave.
You have each other.
Not gonna lie, I was hoping to hear from you.
You, too, have a "daughter burden" that pulls on the heart. I know you "get it." Your pain hurts me too, because it is a mother's pain, and I sense that others here feel it as well.
I appreciate your prayers for me and her father. The air is chilly around here of late. He thinks I'm mad, but what I am is disappointed, and I'm not sure that's not harder to overcome.
You are right, kids leave and we have each other, warts and all.
It is okay to confess your hurt and disappointment and cry about it. I wouldn't be surprised if he did, too.
You put a lot of time and love into your daughter and right now it appears to be to no avail.
I have to hold on to what I know is true, and what I know is this:
Love conquers all.
Raise a child in the way she should walk and they will not depart from it.
God's Word doesn't return void.
My daughter's behavior is consistent with her not being a Christian. I know she isn't.
So I'm going to keep praying for her the way I did when she was born.
She was my only planned child, she was the daughter I asked the Lord for, even down to her blue eyes.
I know the Enemy hates me so much that he especially wants this child, because her behavior wounds me. So I have to pray for her, in that understanding.
The thorn in the side is to keep us dependent on the Lord and know His Grace is sufficient.
I think the girls fit the thorn category.
We pray!
https://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2017/02/13/what-was-pauls-thorn-in-the-flesh/
My daughter has said that she became a scientist because of my interest in viruses.
But it was just an interest. I am a writer, a wordsmith and an advocate for purebred dogs, not a scientist.
She also went to church, and saw me do the same, though I certainly could have been a better role model. I'm on my own path to God and the older I get, the more urgently I seek to understand him. I don't know where she detoured away from him.
Things were so much easier when I was five.
And a little child shall lead them.
Our difficult children lead us right back to Father G-d.
We need to pray and simply trust in Him to do mighty things; the kind of trust just like we had when we were kids and completely trusted our parents to solve any problem for us.
That is, before we grew up and saw them as mortals with feet of clay!
I'm with you in this life lesson; we'll get through it together.
Meantime, cling to your hubs and to the Lord.
We pray!
https://www.patheos.com/blogs/goodandtruth/2010/11/sermon-a-little-child-shall-lead-them/