Dearest FAmily, thank you for all the kind words of comfort you've sent to me. I am so overwhelmed with love from my friends its unreal.
Right now puppy, my youngest and I are on the road. We're heading back to DC for my mom's memorial service, because we have connections there that go back 40 years and more. I need to be with my peeps! Brisket just isn't enough at this time.
I am planning a great celebration service for my mom and a luncheon afterwards with all of her favorite foods.
There are family tensions a-brewing, so I ask you to keep me in prayer. My brother did not want to have a service in DC, he wants it to be in Texas. He is very angry that I'm moving forward with my DC plans.
Scripture teaches us to not let a bitter root spring up (inside ourselves) because it can defile many others. This is so true!
I am practicing radio silence to starve this off (no oxygen, no fire). I don't need to defend myself, and I won't. And I am praying that he will attend.
@MMA@freeatlantis.comMy relationship with my brother has been acrimonious at best for over 40 years. This bruhaha over our mom's memorial service is just the latest iteration.
My mother wanted my brother to be close to her, and she treated him as if they were. She always was prone to fantasize about how good a son he is. I am a realist. That's partially why a great deal of the problems between us were about the inconsiderate way he's treated our mother since we were kids. He hates that I don't see him her way.
He was never there for her during any of the hospitalizations and surgeries that resulted from her health issues-- lobectomty, triple by-pass, DVTs, diabetes, stroke, and finally pancreatic cancer.
I admit I've struggled with contempt over the years and even --jealousy?‐‐ as my mother continued to overlook his obvious disengagement and long for his visits.
I moved to TX, in part, so my mom could be closer to him. He never made an effort to come to DC. That worked, but it took a toll on me.
I'm not a glutton for punishment and I won't tolerate abuse from anyone. I avoid my brother because he has the personality of a meat-ax and is like a bull in a china shop. I wouldn't have him in my life at all, if my mother didn't live with me. He is the only person Hattori has bitten in defense of me.
I only was around him these past 4 years for my mother's sake, and every occasion was hard.
I understand my mom's longings because I'm a mom too and my relationship with my daughter sucks.
With that understanding, I've tried to be compassionate and think of her, not myself. He's been in my house only because of that. I don't like him and tolerated him only because of our mother.
Because those rules still apply, even after mom's death, I hope that he will come to the memorial service because our mom would have wanted him there.
I think he's trying to cause a family fight because it would be a convenient way to excuse why he didn't attend. So, I won't let him pull me into one.
I am praying that we will have a good service that honors mom and that somehow my brother will attend.
After that, I am free from my obligations to my mom and I will put up my boundaries again.
My friends have always been more my real family than my own. In my book, family is as family does.
My FAmily is part of this circle of support, which I have really needed!, and I want you all to know just how much I appreciate your kindness to me, and my mom, and my son. I thank and bless you all!
@MMA
Please know that my prayers continue to be with you, and for the service for your Mom to proceed peacefully and honorably. 
My heart goes out to you, friend. This is not easy, but you are doing exactly the right thing.
I shall pray that your brother does indeed attend the service, and that God convicts him of the many times and places where he has strayed.
I know I've always been thinking about you, praying and hoping God gave you the strength to care for your mom. He did.
Now lean on Him to help carry your grief as He helped you through those difficulties.
That's why He's there.
God bless! And don't fret about the service. It'll be the way it's supposed to be.
Light a special candle for all your FA friends, there in spirit!
We love you!
My prayers continue for you.