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Been praying to Jesus every day at 2pm and 8pm for the past couple months. Not a Christian, really. But trying it out.
At minimum, what is pretty cool & horrible is everything bad I've ever done plays in my head a lot. Like I have to recognize what is bad about it before it goes away.
What is odd is I'm not exactly sure what form of Christianity I like. Never read The Bible. Think I'm sort of Catholic, but don't get the saints stuff.
Thanks you guys for helping me use you to work this out.
@shecky2000
Shecky I am a proud Christian and you pointed out something profound. I too receive thoughts of all my wrongs. I think that’s beautiful that you called this to my attention. God is working on us both. I’m ex Catholic and was taught catechism and Bible history. I started growing when I started reading the Bible for myself. Ask God before each reading to teach you something. He never fails us. God loves you. Thank you for inspiring me. 
@KodiakIsland Please tell me where to start on The Bible. Honestly, starting from the beginning with all the "begats" is extremely hard to process.
It's like a friggin graph database I can't manage in my head.
Is there a good place to start for dummies?
Start with the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5 - 7).
Then read Luke 6:46-49.
Then spend the rest of your life, using the rest of the Word, coming to grips with what these truths mean to you.
You must first read and know what things you are commanded by Jesus to obey.
Then the challenge is to know how to obey. That is what the rest of the Word is for.
The stumbling stone for most people is getting hung up on WHY to obey...
The real question is, once one knows what to obey, is to identify why one chooses NOT to obey.
Identifying this is the majority of the battle. I see people all the time never getting past that.
Do you know what you are commanded by Jesus to do?
These things are plainly stated in the Sermon on the Mount and expounded upon by Jesus in the Gospels.
Naturally, there are a million questions. Continue reading the Word and praying for understanding...
Don't take anyone's word for it.
Would you trust someone else to pack your parachute?
Why would anyone trust Man for salvation?
Too many people allow someone else to tell them what the Word says. The Gospels tell us what Jesus said we have to do for eternal life.
The rest of the New Testament helps us with HOW to do what Jesus commanded us to do.
The OT contains millennia of prophecies about Jesus and many, many lessons about why He is so desperately necessary.
To be clear, Jesus commanded other things besides what is in the Sermon on the Mount.
But if you can get over asking "WHY should I obey" the Sermon on the Mount, the other things He commands take care of themselves.