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@shecky2000
Hi Shecky,
Here is my long winded response.

I was in a similar situation, constantly reminded of all the wrongs I'd committed against friends, family, even strangers. Things recent, and as far back as I could remember. Some honest mistakes, some so bad I still to this day can't even say them out loud.

It almost seemed impossible to overcome. I languished in it for years. That feeling of intense Guilt.

But since then, I learned there is a positive way to look at this...

@shecky2000
...and move forward instead of stagnating.

In John chapter 16 verses 7-8, Jesus says "...for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment"

That guilt we feel is there for a reason, it is the conviction of the Holy Spirit (The Helper, see also John 14:15-17).

That conviction shows the work of Christ in our life and the cleansing that is...

@shecky2000
...beginning in our heart. When we seek out Jesus earnestly (which someone who dedicates multiple prayer times daily is most definitely doing) the Spirit is is moved to come to work in us.

That first work done in us is repentance. Repentance is more than just saying sorry, and in order to move forward in Christ, we must understand what is sin, how we have sinned in our life, and how we are forgiven for it.

@h53pilot gave us amazing advice on this already...

@shecky2000
..."If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

We stand repentant before God, ask forgiveness for our sins in Jesus's name, and seek redemption, which is given to us not because we have earned it, but because of His Grace.

Paul says "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace...

@shecky2000
...which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ" (Ephesians 1:7-9)

and which Jesus confirms for us in his own words

"Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it." (John 14:13-14)

The second step is to offer that same forgiveness to those who have wronged us...

@shecky2000
...as the Father offers to us by His Grace.

As @malokvale77 said, offering up the Lord's Prayer is a good start. "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who have trespassed against us".

In Matthew chapter 6 verses 14-15, Jesus tells the people "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

We can offer up a prayer...

@shecky2000
... and ask the Holy Spirit to open our eyes and bring to our remembrance all those that we need to forgive.

I have found that saying "I forgive..." isn't always enough.

There are wrongs I have felt in my life that I have to forgive a dozen times or more because it hurt so bad.

Peter asked Jesus how may times he should forgive his brother "“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” ...

@shecky2000
...Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22) As long as you have a heart of repentance, God will forgive all this and more!

As much as it hurts, I have had to dig in to why the action or words wronged me so much, and prayed to God to take that burden off of me. To heal my heart. Only then could I say "I forgive..." and truly be able to let it go.

Forgiveness is as much about letting it go, as it is about...

@shecky2000
...accepting that it happened, and was most likely out of our control. Forgiving others begets forgiveness from God. However, unforgiveness breeds bitterness and wrath, see Ephesians 4, specifically verses 31-32.

We must also forgive ourselves. The devil wants nothing more than to keep you from realizing your life's potential in a walking relationship with Jesus.

He's gonna whisper in your ear, tell you your sins are horrible, you don't deserve forgiveness. In a way....

@shecky2000
...he's right. But the truth doesn't change, and that truth is God does not forgive us because we deserve it.

He does it because of who He is. Because of who Jesus is.

Because of His undying and unending love for us.

I can't change what I've done in the past, but I can change what I'm going to do in the future, and I'm not going to let my past stop me from doing just that.
....

@shecky2000
...
"He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:10-14)
...

@shecky2000
...
James 5:16 says "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

So I offer you this prayer as someone righteous ONLY through faith and love for my Lord Jesus Christ:

I thank you father that you meet Shecky on his journey into a deeper relationship with you. Thank you Holy Spirit that you come and dwell in him, and open his mind and spirit up...

@shecky2000
...to all manner of your works. That you guide him with a gentle hand, and that Lord Jesus show him personally what it is to be forgiven, and to forgive.

That you heal his heart and fill him with Your peace and joy! I thank you for the FreeAtlantis community, and that so many are quick to offer him help and wisdom on his journey. Your word says "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training...

@shecky2000
... in righteousness," and as he dives deeper into your word, I thank you that you give him a greater understanding of who you are, and who he is in you.

As for your other questions, I find the Gospel (Book) of John to be the most dynamic book for me. It starts at the beginning, and ties in to themes throughout the entire text (i.e. John 1 & Genesis 1). The divine and supernatural existence of Jesus Christ before, during, and after his 33 years...

@shecky2000
...on earth ties in so well with my Pentecostal experience, and my spiritman.

I am not one to just sit down and read things straight through. I like to grab onto a verse or theme (such as forgiveness) and find evidence for it throughout the text.

For me personally, I find no need for any intercessor in my life other than Jesus Christ, for he said "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one...

@shecky2000
...comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” (John 14:6-7)

God speed on your journey.

@joseph Thank so much! Quite helpful. I don't really have a problem forgiving people (virtually no capacity for anger). I tend to just forget them. So that part'll be easy.

The real challenge, I guess, is when I listen to something like "The Imitation of Christ", it's so demanding that I don't know if I can do this all right.

I guess I can keep plugging away. Read a bit of Bible here and there and try harder.

Thank you!

@shecky2000
Well the bad news is you can't do it ALL right. The good news is you don't have to. God is righteous and just in his judgement, and knows the intention of your heart.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. The only way to learn what it means to be Christ-like is to read the bible - what Christ said (the Gospels - Matthew Mark Luke & John) and how he lived. If you learn one new thing about Him each day, after 300 days its 300 new things! Growth takes time. You will succeed

@joseph Thanks. Yeah, probably best to do a bit a day. Systems, not goals.