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@shecky2000@freeatlantis.comBeen praying to Jesus every day at 2pm and 8pm for the past couple months. Not a Christian, really. But trying it out.
At minimum, what is pretty cool & horrible is everything bad I've ever done plays in my head a lot. Like I have to recognize what is bad about it before it goes away.
What is odd is I'm not exactly sure what form of Christianity I like. Never read The Bible. Think I'm sort of Catholic, but don't get the saints stuff.
Thanks you guys for helping me use you to work this out.
@shecky2000
Shecky I am a proud Christian and you pointed out something profound. I too receive thoughts of all my wrongs. I think that’s beautiful that you called this to my attention. God is working on us both. I’m ex Catholic and was taught catechism and Bible history. I started growing when I started reading the Bible for myself. Ask God before each reading to teach you something. He never fails us. God loves you. Thank you for inspiring me. 
@KodiakIsland Please tell me where to start on The Bible. Honestly, starting from the beginning with all the "begats" is extremely hard to process.
It's like a friggin graph database I can't manage in my head.
Is there a good place to start for dummies?
@shecky2000
If I were you I’d go to you tube and check out Chuck Missler who really inspires me. He feels people should start with Revelation. Ask God to guide and teach you. I listen to Chuck Missler going over Revelation. He may not be for you but he reaches me. Then listen to what he says about Genesis. He explains the begats and makes things understandable. I’m also working on being a better human. I want to find my purpose. We all have a special purpose. 
Start with the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5 - 7).
Then read Luke 6:46-49.
Then spend the rest of your life, using the rest of the Word, coming to grips with what these truths mean to you.
You must first read and know what things you are commanded by Jesus to obey.
Then the challenge is to know how to obey. That is what the rest of the Word is for.
The stumbling stone for most people is getting hung up on WHY to obey...
The real question is, once one knows what to obey, is to identify why one chooses NOT to obey.
Identifying this is the majority of the battle. I see people all the time never getting past that.
Do you know what you are commanded by Jesus to do?
These things are plainly stated in the Sermon on the Mount and expounded upon by Jesus in the Gospels.
Naturally, there are a million questions. Continue reading the Word and praying for understanding...
Don't take anyone's word for it.
Would you trust someone else to pack your parachute?
Why would anyone trust Man for salvation?
Too many people allow someone else to tell them what the Word says. The Gospels tell us what Jesus said we have to do for eternal life.
The rest of the New Testament helps us with HOW to do what Jesus commanded us to do.
The OT contains millennia of prophecies about Jesus and many, many lessons about why He is so desperately necessary.
To be clear, Jesus commanded other things besides what is in the Sermon on the Mount.
But if you can get over asking "WHY should I obey" the Sermon on the Mount, the other things He commands take care of themselves.
@h53pilot
Good to have this brought to my attention. Thank you.
@shecky2000
@shecky2000
Proverbs is an amazing place to start. And Psalms if you feel so led.
Why? Because the Proverbs teaches wisdom to the simple, and knowledge of the holy.
And I'm a huge fan of Ecclesiastes, written by the same person as Proverbs. Here's a man who experienced it all, all of life, whatever it was, he did it. Period.
And his conclusion is simple, profound, and beautiful. And honest. Highly recommend. @KodiakIsland
@gloriaoils @shecky2000
Someone told me to read a little psalms and a little proverbs every day plus a little Old Testament and New Testament daily. I’m starting to implement that now.
@gloriaoils
Day 2 of implementing this reading schedule. Did it this morning and will be doing it again before bedtime. Listened while on treadmill to a lecture on Babylon by Chuck Missler. Learned so much today. @shecky2000
@KodiakIsland @gloriaoils @shecky2000
One thing I have done in the past is read a chapter of proverbs every day. Read the chapter that matches the date. Tomorrow is the 21st so read chapter 21. Do that for 6 months.
@Timtoolman
Yes. We did that for years when the kids were smaller. Literally. I'll still do it occasionally.
Yes, I only add that we recite Our Fathers Prayer each day.
His will be done.
@malokvale77 @KodiakIsland Usually do that about half the time.
It took me a long while to make it a daily habit.
And still I sometimes I do the short "May God's Will Be Done".
Take heart, many of us here are beginners on this journey to God.
We feel the pull.
To steal from Calgon, God Take Me Away.
I felt exactly the way you are feeling now when I was seeking Him.
The Lord is the High Priest, dearest.
Take all those things that are coming before you, all those things you have done wrong, take them to the Lord, ask Him to forgive you for them.
I promise you that He will remove them as far as the east from the west.
He did that for me at age 15, almost 40 years ago.
We are not drawn to Christ unless He calls us. He is calling you.
Be blessed.
@MMA It takes a lot for someone like me to go Christian. A lot. I am there.
Trying to figure out a way to be a net-positive.
You don't have to think about anything sweetie. He's done it all for you because He loves you. Just enjoy that moment for what it is.
Indeed, when you accept the Good News...the victory has been won.
His blood is sufficient.
@MMA
Well said!
@shecky2000
He called me when I was 65.
Think about that. At 65 I've accepted being a child of God.
I punished myself so long.
We praise G-d.
I understand. Every religious organization I tried felt so wrong.
They seemed to conform religion to culture. Instead of conforming culture to religion.
Then I saw how they have tried to bend our Constitution to culture, rather than bend culture to our Constitution.
The Bible is a big read, but everyday, on most platforms, Bible verses are presented.
Start with those, let your curiousity take you further.
May God bless on your journey.
@shecky2000 here’s an idea from Scripture, it’s not whether or not God is on our side, but whether we are on His side. Read Jos 5:13,14. Down here, our choices tend to be between bad and very bad, and sometimes we have to side with the bad to get rid of the very bad. But ultimately, the goal of the Christian is the redemption of mankind. We seek the whosoever will for the glory of God, until every knee bows and every tongue confesses. Jesus is perfect and the rest of us aren’t even close, but that shouldn’t vex you. If you could have been righteous, there would have been no need for a cross. Sometimes we are reminded of our sin because our enemy wants to remind us we are not worthy of Christ’s sacrifice, and we are not. Never think you are. Don’t try to do good to be worthy. It doesn’t work that way.
@shecky2000 I’m right there with ya. Keeping the faith & believe in the power of prayer. Never had much if a formal religious upbringing but I pray every day and am grateful to God & my FA family for nudging me in the right direction. 
@shecky2000
I always enjoy Sirach, straight forward and full of common sense for behavior and belief.
Start with the Gospels then read the various letters Paul and others wrote. Those contain a lot of references back to the Old Testament and set the context for the entire Bible.
The Word is critical, man-made denominations and sects are a distraction.
Jesus is the key.
@Davez_Not_Here When you say "the Gospels", what do you mean?
Seriously not much Bible knowledge here.
Start with the beginning of the New Testament. Do that first, then see where it takes you. I would highly recommend a study Bible so you can understand the context and culture. Also, there is a great animated series by The Bible Project that discusses each book of the Bible. That would complement any reading you might do.
The key is to start reading, then contemplate it's meaning.
There are many resources out there that can help you get started.
Maybe the Bible Project to start?
The first four books of the New Testament.
Matthew
Mark
Luke
John
All a written by one of Jesus' disciples and are each intended for a different audience.
Consider them four biographies with a different emphasis.
@Davez_Not_Here Thank you!
You've already had great responses here, so I will simply promise to set an alarm and join you in prayer by saying 3 Hail Mary's for you at 2pm and 8pm each day.
You are being called and you are listening and answering Him. How wonderful!
@shecky2000
Hi Shecky,
Here is my long winded response.
I was in a similar situation, constantly reminded of all the wrongs I'd committed against friends, family, even strangers. Things recent, and as far back as I could remember. Some honest mistakes, some so bad I still to this day can't even say them out loud.
It almost seemed impossible to overcome. I languished in it for years. That feeling of intense Guilt.
But since then, I learned there is a positive way to look at this...
@shecky2000
...and move forward instead of stagnating.
In John chapter 16 verses 7-8, Jesus says "...for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment"
That guilt we feel is there for a reason, it is the conviction of the Holy Spirit (The Helper, see also John 14:15-17).
That conviction shows the work of Christ in our life and the cleansing that is...
@shecky2000
...beginning in our heart. When we seek out Jesus earnestly (which someone who dedicates multiple prayer times daily is most definitely doing) the Spirit is is moved to come to work in us.
That first work done in us is repentance. Repentance is more than just saying sorry, and in order to move forward in Christ, we must understand what is sin, how we have sinned in our life, and how we are forgiven for it.
@h53pilot gave us amazing advice on this already...
@shecky2000
... Matthew chapters 5-7 show us Jesus's commandments to his people, and what we do outside of them can most all be classified as sin. It is acting against the will and morality of God.
We can never live up to all of God's will and morality. In truth we can live up to little of it. So we seek forgiveness from God, an atonement only attainable because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ...
@shecky2000
..."If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)
We stand repentant before God, ask forgiveness for our sins in Jesus's name, and seek redemption, which is given to us not because we have earned it, but because of His Grace.
Paul says "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace...
@shecky2000
...which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ" (Ephesians 1:7-9)
and which Jesus confirms for us in his own words
"Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it." (John 14:13-14)
The second step is to offer that same forgiveness to those who have wronged us...
@shecky2000
...as the Father offers to us by His Grace.
As @malokvale77 said, offering up the Lord's Prayer is a good start. "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who have trespassed against us".
In Matthew chapter 6 verses 14-15, Jesus tells the people "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
We can offer up a prayer...
@shecky2000
... and ask the Holy Spirit to open our eyes and bring to our remembrance all those that we need to forgive.
I have found that saying "I forgive..." isn't always enough.
There are wrongs I have felt in my life that I have to forgive a dozen times or more because it hurt so bad.
Peter asked Jesus how may times he should forgive his brother "“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” ...
@shecky2000
...Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22) As long as you have a heart of repentance, God will forgive all this and more!
As much as it hurts, I have had to dig in to why the action or words wronged me so much, and prayed to God to take that burden off of me. To heal my heart. Only then could I say "I forgive..." and truly be able to let it go.
Forgiveness is as much about letting it go, as it is about...
@shecky2000
...accepting that it happened, and was most likely out of our control. Forgiving others begets forgiveness from God. However, unforgiveness breeds bitterness and wrath, see Ephesians 4, specifically verses 31-32.
We must also forgive ourselves. The devil wants nothing more than to keep you from realizing your life's potential in a walking relationship with Jesus.
He's gonna whisper in your ear, tell you your sins are horrible, you don't deserve forgiveness. In a way....
@shecky2000
...he's right. But the truth doesn't change, and that truth is God does not forgive us because we deserve it.
He does it because of who He is. Because of who Jesus is.
Because of His undying and unending love for us.
I can't change what I've done in the past, but I can change what I'm going to do in the future, and I'm not going to let my past stop me from doing just that.
....
@shecky2000
...
"He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:10-14)
...
@shecky2000
...
James 5:16 says "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
So I offer you this prayer as someone righteous ONLY through faith and love for my Lord Jesus Christ:
I thank you father that you meet Shecky on his journey into a deeper relationship with you. Thank you Holy Spirit that you come and dwell in him, and open his mind and spirit up...
@shecky2000
...to all manner of your works. That you guide him with a gentle hand, and that Lord Jesus show him personally what it is to be forgiven, and to forgive.
That you heal his heart and fill him with Your peace and joy! I thank you for the FreeAtlantis community, and that so many are quick to offer him help and wisdom on his journey. Your word says "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training...
@shecky2000
... in righteousness," and as he dives deeper into your word, I thank you that you give him a greater understanding of who you are, and who he is in you.
As for your other questions, I find the Gospel (Book) of John to be the most dynamic book for me. It starts at the beginning, and ties in to themes throughout the entire text (i.e. John 1 & Genesis 1). The divine and supernatural existence of Jesus Christ before, during, and after his 33 years...
@shecky2000
...on earth ties in so well with my Pentecostal experience, and my spiritman.
I am not one to just sit down and read things straight through. I like to grab onto a verse or theme (such as forgiveness) and find evidence for it throughout the text.
For me personally, I find no need for any intercessor in my life other than Jesus Christ, for he said "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one...
@shecky2000
...comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” (John 14:6-7)
God speed on your journey.
@joseph Thank so much! Quite helpful. I don't really have a problem forgiving people (virtually no capacity for anger). I tend to just forget them. So that part'll be easy.
The real challenge, I guess, is when I listen to something like "The Imitation of Christ", it's so demanding that I don't know if I can do this all right.
I guess I can keep plugging away. Read a bit of Bible here and there and try harder.
Thank you!
@shecky2000
Well the bad news is you can't do it ALL right. The good news is you don't have to. God is righteous and just in his judgement, and knows the intention of your heart.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. The only way to learn what it means to be Christ-like is to read the bible - what Christ said (the Gospels - Matthew Mark Luke & John) and how he lived. If you learn one new thing about Him each day, after 300 days its 300 new things! Growth takes time. You will succeed
@joseph Thanks. Yeah, probably best to do a bit a day. Systems, not goals.
@shecky2000
AA's 12 steps also works for non-alcoholics. There is a step about making amends which allows for closure.
Not an alcoholic but have accompanied several friends to open meetings where non-alcoholics can attend.
Usually a tremendous amount of honest Christianity in the room. Felt closer to God than I ever did in a Catholic mass.
It’s actually 3 steps.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
When he posted that… it came to mind but I didn’t say anything… your suggestion was very thoughtful… so thank you! 
@shecky2000 When I 1st gave my life to Christ, a friend gave me a women's devotional bible. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that I could not WAIT to read it every morning. I read the devotion & the corresponding passages & that was it for awhile. I then got an Our Daily Bread devotional & read that every day.(I use the app now.) It focuses on one verse or passage with commentary & has a bible reading plan at the bottom of the page. If you follow that you will read the entire bible in